Expectations

A common tip for having better and more effective meetings, is to kick it off by addressing the participants expectations for the meeting, and what they wish to get out of it. That increases the chance of the participants leaving with a feeling of having had a successful meeting.

This is something we should implement in other settings and relationships too. Whenever you have specific wishes regarding how you would like something to be, be perceived or become. Examples of when it could be of great value to share your expectations, is when:

• You are going on a trip with others
• Your birthday is closing in
• You are getting married
• You’re getting interviewed for or have just started a new job
• You’re in a conversation with your manager regarding e.g. goals, performance, salary
• Are about to choose a partner

Many argue that expectations lead to disappointment. I would like to modify that and instead argue that ”unspoken expectations increases the risk of disappointment”.
However, I want to point out that it’s important to not let your expectations control you. We need to be able to handle and accept that things don’t always turn out the way we want them to, even though we made our expectations known. But by talking with your partner, manager, colleague, friend, and relative about both parties expectations and hopes for that relationship, regarding a specific event or in general going forward, you increase the chance of both getting what you want.

Recommendations

• Be honest when you let others know about your expectations. Take your own wishes seriously.
• Trust others when they share their expectations. Take their words seriously.
• Consider that others might have different expectations than what you have. Respect each others hopes and try to find solutions together. Reach out for help if needed.
• It’s not dangerous to have high expectations, but it could be devastating to place too much emphasis on the outcome. If it didn’t turn out the way you expected, try to think about the reasons why but in a non-judgmental way. Simply state how it turned out, without putting any value to the outcome, and think about what you can do differently next time to change the result.
• Remember, You can take ownership over the situation and ask what expectations others might have.

Challenge

• Think about something that’s currently going on in your life, where you have specific wishes about how you would like it to be, be experienced or become. Maybe a relationship where you would want it to be in a certain way? Use the above mentioned recommendations and speak up about your expectations.

Please share your reflections by leaving a comment here, or at my Instagram account.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

---